With great power…

I thought about posting this article on Geek Shui Living, but honestly, I don’t think something as obviously biased as what I’m going to write should go there. I want to talk to you all for a little bit about something that truly scares the bejeesus out of me: The Internet Kill Switch.

That’s It. The Internet Kill Switch. Someone turn it ON for God’s sake!

That’s the colloquial term for the Protecting Cyberspace as a National Asset Act, or PCNAA.The bill, Senate Bill 3840, was passed by the Homeland Security Committee and will be sent to the Senate floor for debate and voting. This bill actually fine tunes and specifies powers already given to the President under the Communications Act of 1934 (which gives the President authority over all wired communications in times of emergency). Honestly, though, the very concept goes against everything it is to be American. Not only does it assume that American business would not act in the best interest of the nation (foreign companies might not, but they would already likely be pushed out in a time of war), but also that the American people themselves aren’t responsible and may need to be urged into action.

This bill reeks of the typical Democratic garbage that Americans aren’t capable of taking care of themselves, and can’t be relied upon to act responsibly when needed. Their entire party platform seems built around the idea that a governments job is to take care of the people, implying that they know better than we do what’s best for us.

Of course, this is all under the guise of National Security. You know what? We get attacked 1.8 million times a day, and we’ve handled it pretty well so far. Why do we need a new office (the National Center for Cyber-security and Communications or NCCC, which would be a division of the Department of Homeland Security)? Where is the money going to come from to fund this office and it’s activities?

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in having a secure network and in the government doing what it can to secure our national interests, but is now the right time to do it? And is it really necessary? It seems to be a thinly veiled attempt to get around wireless providers exclusion from the Act of 1934, since all wireless providers are also ISP’s they fall into the purview of this new law.

It should also be noted that this act doesn’t negate or revoke the Act of 1934, so the President can, in a time of war, control all media outlets now.

Great. Just what I wanted..

Big Butter Jesus

I had to take a break from writing a horribly long HSFFU to make note of sad event here in the Greater Cincinnati area. One of our (sadly) most recognizable icons recently met an untimely end during a pop-up late spring thunderstorm. Yes, I’m talking about the monstrosity known as…


You have no idea how badly I don’t want to see them rebuild this. They already started though.

Some people call him Touchdown Jesus because of his arms-raised stance. Some people called him Butter Jesus for his uncanny resemblance to an Ohio State Fair butter sculpture. I called him simply an atrocity in the eyes of the Lord. And not because of the whole “graven images” crud, but because that half a million dollars could have fed and housed a lot of people. I say good riddance. And if they rebuild it again… well… I imagine it will have lightning rods. I would never normally go into an anti-religion rant, but I think this is the kind of thing that gives the religious a bad name. I would rather see them reinvest the money into something constructive for the Middletown/Monroe community. Not a 60 foot reminder that “Our Lady of Las Vegas” is open for business.

Regardless of my feelings, though and in honor of the fallen idol, I present here the lyrics of Heywood Banks’ tribute to the 60 foot tower of Jesus:

Big Butter Jesus

In southern Ohio – just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision – next to the expressway
It was a 60 foot Jesus
With his hands in the air
Looks like he’s carved out of butter – just like at the State Fair

Big Butter Jesus, Sweet Cream Jesus, Oh Country Fresh Jesus, Unsalted Jesus,
Oh Promise Jesus, Imperial Jesus, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus, Oleo Lord

You only see him from the chest up – like he’s about to do a back flip
Like he just scored a touchdown – or maybe melting or about to drown
Well I’ve been to the State Fair
Seen a cow made out of corn cobs
Garth Brooks made out of String Cheese – and the virgin out of olives

Big Butter Jesus, Sweet Cream Jesus, Oh Country Fresh Jesus, Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus, Imperial Jesus, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus, Oleo Lord

Shipped in pieces on a flatbed – facing backwards was his big head
Drive stuck in traffic backups – desperately avoiding eye contact
Well don’t make no graven images
That’s one of the Ten Commandments
I hope the grading curve is kindly – you get to heaven on a 90

Big Butter Jesus, Sweet Cream Jesus, Oh Country Fresh Jesus, Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus, Imperial Jesus, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus, Oleo Lord.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus
Oh Spread the word

Really the thing that’s making me laugh the hardest about this is that no one, from the time this thing was conceived, to the time it was built, to the time it was burnt down… well maybe then… realized that building a 60 foot tall metal and Styrofoam structure in the middle of an open field with a huge pool of water at it’s base was a bad idea. I don’t think lightning rods would have helped. The statue was basically 2/3 napalm, waiting for something to ignite it.

Perhaps if they decide to build something in the future, it will be more tasteful and less combustible..

Parallel Worlds

So this week’s installment of How Science Fiction Failed Us talks about Parallel Worlds and Universes, and it got me to thinking about all the choices that have brought me to where I am; all those poor choices I made when I was younger; the choices I make now; the choices I will make tomorrow and in the future. I’m responsible for another human life now, and that’s a heavy thing. My choices affect those around me profoundly, which is something I didn’t consider in my wild youth.

This was a great show with a great premise. It was sometimes a little far out, but that’s what made it awesome.

I look at some of my old Air Force friends… the ones that still serve, and I marvel at how they are all E-6’s and E-7’s, and how this year would have been 17 years of service for me. Hell, I might have been an E-7 if I hadn’t have been stupid…

But then…

I wouldn’t have Lily, would I? I wouldn’t be writing my books, or How Science Fiction Failed Us. Do we really want a world that doesn’t have HSFFU? I don’t think so either. So, find someone or something to cuddle up with, find some Sliders, Star Trek, or Stargate SG-1 to watch and think about all the possibilities that are occurring right now.. just somewhere else.

And avoid Earth 54612… that’s the one where American Idol is run sorta like the Running Man…. wait.. that might make it actually worth watching.. nevermind..